Crazy Summers are the best kinds of summers.

We have been insanely busy this summer. and so much has happened. We blessed Gwen on June 1st. it was lovely. I should have blogged right afterward so Id remember more. but what I do remember is he blessed her to be like her older brothers. Excited to learn and quick to Love. I thought that was very sweet. Jon has finished 13 of 48 credits of his masters program. AMAZING!! and hard. WE miss him when he is at school. but are so glad he is doing so well. Me and the kids at home have been really busy with crafts, splashpads, playing in the mud at Jetts, and other summer time activities. A few weeks ago we went on the Butler Family Fishing trip. WE HAD A BLAST. WE enjoyed our very own trailer this year. it was very comfy and cozy. and Gwenny did so great on her first camping trip. For the 4th of July we went to Uncle Kyles new house and had a BBQ. then we went to Jons office and watched fireworks from the roof. IT was a blast. now I think I will just unload a ton of photos and let them speak for themselves.

so far this summer has been most excellent. we can't complain. well, we have had 2 complaints. Max steppend on a bee at the Splashpad. THat was rotten. we will take precautions to not let that happen again, and Rocko fell in the river when they were catching frogs with dad. TOtal bummer. but man it was stinking cute!

Rocktopus and Robot

For the past few months while the boys brush their teeth, they act out and dance along to Beastie Boys Intergalactic.

Rocko is the octopus and Max is the robot. we have made puppets,

drawn pictures and even made a tin foil friend.

Robots are all the rage at our place. also Iron Man rules.

p.s. Gwen is one month old. crazy. time flies when you are having fun.

This is the kids before church being very sweet. i like them.

Sugarsnap photo shoot.

Stef took photos of Gwen. they are darling. this is my fave.

Getting A Gwen

This is the last belly shot before baby sister came.

and now Gwenny is 3 weeks old. I cant believe how fast time is moving. we are just loving her up and trying to get into the swing of having 3 little people. It hasnt been too difficult of an adjustment. Rocko has had a few sad moments where he wants to still be the baby, but He loves his little sister so much. He really could kiss her all day. I have to tell him, "She has had enough kisses for today, lets save our kisses for tomorrow." I am feeling really good. SOO Glad to not be pregnant anymore. but I am really nervous for Jon to start his Masters program. I hope we will be able to manage and not go crazy. I wanted to blog about the day she came before I forget.

on Wednesday the 4th I had my doc app. I had been walking a ton hoping I would be dilated and I was a 3+. Doc O thought we probably wouldnt make it to the next week. I was hoping it would happen that night but my contractions were only 7-10 minutes apart. So we went home and went to bed thinking it could be soon. The next morning I woke up with zero contractions. and then I was bummed. maybe I would make it to the next appointment. I went on another long walk and cleaned my whole house and still no contractions. I gave up on the thought that it would be soon. Jon called and asked how I was feeling and I told him great. but probably not going to have a babe anytime soon. After dinner the boys and I sang songs and had a mini dance party. then I got them in bed and waited for Jon to get home from Night school. Once I had sat down and relaxed for 20 minutes. the contractions started. Jon got home at 9:30 and I told him they were 5 minutes apart and strong so we waited for an hour to see if they were going to fade. by 11 they were 4 minutes apart and we debated what we should do. I text my mom and told her things were looking serious and gave her a heads up we may be calling her. at 1130 I knew we needed to go to the hospital. So we loaded up the kids and drove to St. George. now this is the cheesy element of the story: As we turned onto the highway, we saw a shooting star. and Jon was really cute and said, "There she is, she's coming." I loved it. it was so exciting to be in labor in the middle of the night and Know it was really happening. we got to the hospital around 12:45 in the morning. My mom and Ken met us there and took the boys to their place. Jon and I went in and I was dilated to a 5+ and my contractions were 4 minutes apart and getting painful. we were admitted at 2am and got settled in. I already blogged the crazy delivery so I wont go into it again. She arrived at 11:42am. It was one of the best moments of my life. Getting a Gwen. Man, we Love her.

Doctor Doctor

Today we went to the splash pad and got snow cones. it was nice. yesterday was not as nice. all three kids went to see the doctor. Matix got his Kindergarten shots. He was such a brave boy and did so great. He only cried for a minute, then once he had the spiderman and phineaus and ferb sticker it was the best day ever. Also Dad got him an IronMan mask. so that was awesome. He is in the 50% for height and 20% for weight. Rocko had a great sheck-up and was really glad he didn't have to get "poked". he was nervous for a minute. and kept saying "I dont want to get poked Mom." every few seconds. He is in the 80% for both height and weight and Dr. Clark told us if the boys stay where they are on the growth charts, Max will be around 5'9 or 10. and Rocko will be 6'1 or 2. They remind me of my brothers so much and I think they will be following Uncle Kody and Kyle in Stature. Gwenny did so good as well. She didnt cry during her PKU test and she went from being 5 lbs. 5oz to 6 lbs. 3oz. Almost gained a whole pound. Im a proud Momma. I love these little people so much.

This Girl.

and the boys.
[Rocko loves her]

[Jett loves her]

[Max loves her]

and everyone else.
Lucky little lady.

No Where I'd rather be...

Last year I found my self telling musician strangers [through FB and other forms of social media] that I admired them and would be living vicariously through them....what a weirdo....I will never do that again. I am living my perfect life. and am so grateful for it. I wouldnt want to be anyone else and be anywhere else than where I am right here and right now. Feeling so blessed.

Easter Weekend

We came home from the Hospital Saturday Night.
We dyed Easter Eggs.

then Sunday the boys went to Grandma & Grandpa B's for the annual egg hunt.



then we all slept like babies.

It was the Best Easter Ever.
except we missed church...whoops...

Horribly Wonderful

It seemed to be around 8 centimeters dilated, that the cries I was hearing didn't seem like my own. With each contraction I lost myself in the pain and wondered how anything could feel so awful and amazing. Jon held my hand and kept me going. When the pain would climb his words and voice gave me strength. and when each contraction came down, he'd wipe my tears and say, "I love you, You can do this."

With my previous deliveries, I got the epidural early. It was never the pain of the contractions that made me turn to the medicine. It was the fear of what was to come. After my boys were born, I always felt like maybe I had missed out on an experience of a lifetime. To feel your baby be born. to push. to scream. to hear that cry and at the same time feel the relief and joy that is childbirth. My Mom did it, and her mother and generations before and I wanted to feel that...but I was afraid. Fear got the better of me and I got an epidural when I was dilated to a 7+, but for some unknown reason, it didnt work. Everything felt the same. Why could I still feel it? The Doctor came back and gave me some Lidocaine. I had 15 minutes of bearable contractions but it always faded off and the heavy hitters came back. There was even a moment when the nurses had laid me back too far and gravity pulled the medicine to my upper half. I felt the tingles in my hands and chest and even face [that was really scary]. I was so confused. Why wasnt it working? Why would it go up but not down? When I was at a 9, the option was given, should we try again. Should we put in another epidural?

I still had another centimeter to dilate and then I could push. But we didnt know how long that would take. I decided to try again with more medicine. When they took out the epidural, I felt everything. I had to just concentrate on Jon. I put my forehead up against his and repeated "We are having a baby, we are having a baby". with each breath. A minute passed and I knew I wouldnt have time to have another Epidural. Baby was coming and the contractions were so intense. I told everyone, I NEED TO PUSH. I swung my legs back up and Dr. O was there and said, Next Contraction, you can push, lets get her here.
First Push was crazy. I could feel her crown. My body knew what to do. Second Push. Her Head was out. You can do this. Third Push. She was out. I heard her cry. I felt no pain. just an overwhelming sense of relief and joy. It was over. It had been Horrible, and It had been Wonderful.

I am so grateful to have had this experience. I would have never chosen it. It had to be an accident. Baby Gwen was so small and that was also such a blessing. I can only imagine how difficult it would be to push for hours for a big baby. but Im sure the elation and happiness would only be multiplied. I felt so connected to everything and everyone. to my Jonno for coaching me through, to my body and what it was made to do, and most of all to my baby girl. She was worth every minute and tear. I have never felt stronger as a woman and mother as I did in those moments and I hope I will be able to look back on this experience and know that I can do hard things. I can't control everything. I can't predict what is going to happen in my life. But I know my Heavenly Father knows me and knows what I need. and I needed April 6th. 2012 to be just what it was. Horribly wonderful.


*Where did the medicine go?
This is my theory.
With my boys I had the worst sciatic pain during delivery. With Gwen I had none. I think the epidural stayed in my back and my butt. So yes, I did have some relief. When the Dr. took it out of my back before I delivered, everything that was given had worn off completely. I could feel my catheter. and I could feel and move my legs. As soon as We got to the other room I was able to have the catheter taken out and get up. Yes, I did get the medicine. yes, some may say I didnt actually feel 'ALL NATURAL' but Jon and I know what we went through. it was the real deal. My back has been swollen the past few days. I dont remember that with the boys. This time my epidural was crummy. I knew something like this had to happen. With my boys, the labor and delivery were perfect. I was in for it...

Gwendolyn Lace

Born at 11:42 am on Friday, April 6th 2012.
5 lbs. 11oz 18 in,
You are perfect and healthy. just a lot smaller than we expected.
I don't know why things happen like they do, but I know you were meant to come to me and I was meant to love you. Your Labor and Delivery was a lot different than your brothers. It was really really hard. but it was so totally worth it. It taught me and is still teaching me about Love and Patience and How amazing our bodies are. Its incredible how much we can not control, How much we arent supposed to and How we can do really hard things when we trust in our loved ones and our Heavenly Father. I will share the details soon. but for now I am going to snuggle you, then eat a turkey sandwich then we are going to take a nap. Happy Easter Weekend! and Welcome to the World Baby Gwenny Girl! I love you.
Love, Mom


p.s. your brothers are so excited you are here.